Sometimes it’s good to just be completely yourself and not care what anyone thinks. The realest people in your life are the ones who will be able to enjoy you when your not making an effort to please, or be like someone else. Still, if you’re anything like me, you’ve got some traits or tendencies that it wouldn’t hurt to change. I make the same mistakes repeatedly and it gets real discouraging sometimes.
There’s always hope though! New days bring new options. You can make different choices, you can remember why you wanted to change. Just takes an active desire to want a different result. I used to get down on myself for making the same mistakes, but that doesn’t help. The toughest times are when its most important to have people you care about in your life who can lift you up just by their presence. Life’s great, there’s just a lot of unfortunate stuff that goes on in the world. In your life and everyone else’s. When it comes your way, it’s tough but so helpful to stay strong in your beliefs and remember that it’s not all about you. Love your family and friends with everything you’ve got. Caring for, listening to, and being there for other people gets your mind off your own desires and failures, and really helps allow you to focus on life’s blessings rather than it’s vices.
Learn from your mistakes. Remember your best moments. Live every day like its a gift. Make every decision like it matters.
Unrelated picture for your viewing pleasure
I read this post the other day at work and liked it a lot because I agree with it(well, mostly) and I am definitely guilty of concerning myself with the 80% that isn’t so important instead of focusing on the 20% that is.
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=122509811&page=1
Overanalyzing is unnecessary and typically will bring more harm than good. The only thing I have to add to this rule is that it is good to slow down/stop and think about things every once in a while instead of just going through the motions all of the time. But just thinking intelligently, not concerning yourself too intensely or overreacting as a result. The 80/20 is applicable in many other aspects of life besides weightlifting as well, but I like that article’s take of the 80/20 the best.
An interesting perspective on the 80/20 rule, with a somewhat altered meaning, referencing relationships and cheating:
In business/sales (I think this is slightly less accurate but still useful)
My definitions & applications regarding:
General: You should spend 80% of your time focusing on the 20% that’s most important/relevant to you. (However, incorporate the concept of balance as well, depending on the situation and your goals)
Health/fitness: I have nothing to add to the first article by bb.com.
Relationships: Do you like your boyfriend/girlfriend for who they are, do you both love each other, and do they make you happy are all parts of the critical 20%. Do you spend most of your time thinking about those things, and the redeeming qualities of the person your with?
Or do you catch yourself hung up on the less relevant 80%, such as little things they do that annoy you, difference in opinions or preferences, how much of their time they do or don’t give up to spend with you, whether your friends and family like them, etc.
View of Self: Do you think about the 20% of your characteristics you don’t like 80% of the time? That’s not very proactive, and your likely to think less of yourself and cripple your ability to improve those aspects of your life. I think it’s important not to dwell on things, only think about them enough to understand how to improve them and put that into action.
Career path/work/free time: I think you are more likely to experience a higher degree of success if you spend 80% of your time devoted to the 20% that represents what you are passionate about or best at. That being said, balance in life is important to keep in mind
Religion/morals: don’t feel bad about the 80% of your failings (don’t get me wrong I think trying to improve them is great). Instead, be encouraged by the most important things or get determined to do better about them. Basically, love people, and God if you believe in him, don’t get discouraged by your lack of perfection or from not doing the right thing, just make a note to do better next time.
Friendship: Focus on the important 20%, do you have each others backs and do you like and respect your friend for who they are.
Conclusion: the 80/20 rule is not an absolute to live by but a good idea to keep in mind. When your displeased with something, take a step back and recognize if its the less relevant 80% or not that’s the problem.
-when I get a massage I wish they’d focus on my back and shoulders, the 20% that feels the most bomb..
The title of this post doesn’t completely explain my perspective. I want to clarify with a disclaimer that I do believe there are some circumstances where a diet and drastic changes can be helpful, I just don’t think that that is the case the majority of the time.
I’ll start by explaining my opinion on diets, which is heavily influenced by my view on drastic changes. When I use the word diet, I don’t mean what you’re eating on a regular basis. What you’re eating daily is your diet, but I’m using the word only for its other meaning, a specific program of foods to eat in a certain way for a designated period of time. As I stated above, I do believe there are situations where a diet can be a good thing and work out as it is intended to, but I’d guess that maybe 1 in every 5 people who go on diets don’t really have long-term success as a result. This figure is just my personal guess, I could see it being far less, I’m doubtful of the ratio being higher than 1:5, but I’ve only done basic research on nutrition and physiology so don’t misunderstand and think that I’m pretending to be an expert. I base what I’m saying off of my view of humanity, what I’ve seen and heard, internet research, light book research, and personal experience only. Now I’ll start getting to my point. I’m not going to talk about exercise in this post but as a side note I believe your success in trying to get healthy is incredibly dependent on exercise. A lifestyle of both exercise and healthy eating are necessary to feel and look as good as you’d like to, and attain optimal success. You can probably make some gains by adjusting only your eating habits or exercise habits without incorporating the other, but your results will be much weaker than they could be.
If you are an average American, you consume a decent amount of fast food, processed food, and unhealthy, unnecessary food on a regular basis. Advertisements get you excited about trending diets if/when you decide to make a change in your life, and you begin some sort of diet program that only allows you to eat specific foods. It could be Atkins, P90x, Jenny Craig, Lo-Carb, or whatever the current fad is. You see images of skinny, attractive people with six-packs who created or took part in the diet, and one of your friends recommended it so you decide to give it a shot. I think your making a mistake. Your not wrong in deciding to make a change in what food and portion size you consume, but you are likely to have limited or short-term success in the diet because it is a drastic change. Such a change might be effective or necessary, but because of the many requirements to sustain that adjustment, I think only 1:5 people (if that) can handle it and experience long-term improvement. There are two possibilites for a drastic change to a diet to be effective. 1) You change from eating poorly eating extremely healthy, then after you have experienced some progress, you change to eating moderately well, but allow yourself treats and foods on occasion that were completely restricted during your healthy eating period. You continue eating this way for a long time, in a balance of healthy eating and realistic eating. I think this is far more viable then the next option. 2) You change from eating poorly to eating extremely healthy and rarely or never revert to eating the foods and portions you used to eat. I think this is highly unrealistic but if you can pull this off, more power to you, you’re not reading this because your in a triathlon somewhere, and your winning.
In order to succeed in either of those two possibilites, I strongly believe that you need to have multiple factors going for you. It is a huge help if you have these things to assist you in any positive change you make in your life, but for drastic changes I believe they are all necessary. You need support from the people around you, passionate personal motivation, a solid understanding of what you want, and a higher belief in something that drives you to succeed. Also with a diet change you probably need a little money and some time to actually prepare food.
Let me explain what I think will happen if you are an average person and you try to go instantly from unregulated eating habits to a dietary program. Here is my humble view of a typical scenario (again, I don’t pretend at all to be an expert but I do know a thing or two). The change will be very difficult, but you will do it. You’ll stop eating McDonalds, you won’t go out for a beer when your friends invite you out, you’ll buy exactly what your supposed to, and start following your diet pretty closely. It says to avoid peanut butter so you’ll avoid peanut butter. It says to have cottage cheese before bed, so you suck it up and eat some of the stuff nightly. (Cottage cheese is a really good protein source, I just personally am not into the taste, if you can eat it before bed that’s great.) You will completely alter your lifestyle and follow your dietary guidelines, and you may start to feel and look better. In a best case scenario you’ll get addicted to the results your getting from the program. Still, chances are, you will not last. You’ll stick to it one week, one month, maybe even a year or two. Then you’ll realize that you aren’t really down with never enjoying a Chipotle burrito again, you miss going out to eat sometimes, that tub of ice cream your friend or significant other is getting too looks real nice, and you lust for what you’ve been entirely abstaining from. And eventually you snap, and buy that cookies and cream ice cream tub, turn on the tv, and call it a night. After that happens, you have one of two options again. If you can brush it off and hop back on your diet, that’s excellent, and you probably have a great chance of improving your health and sticking with it. The second and more common outcome is that you feel guilty about breaking your diet and eating poorly again, and go back to exactly how you used to eat. That ice cream was so delicious, and screw it, you really miss the taste of a fresh burger, and a whole lot of other foods you’ve been restricted from. This happens to everyone, although I think women are more prone to getting discouraged when they break their diet with unhealthy food then men, who tend to be more nonchalant and not feel as guilty. If you are on a diet, please don’t let yourself get discouraged! Tomorrow is a new day, next year is a new year, just try and do the best you can moving forward and you will see an improvement. Gradual improvements are long-term and far more rewarding. Your eating habits are a part of your lifestyle, and by understanding the basics of health, not getting discouraged, and trying to make the better decision on what to eat, you can make a change over time that will become engrained in your day-to-day habits. When I say better decision on what to eat, this is what I mean. You go to In-N-Out with your friends and family, and have already determined your getting a burger. Don’t say screw it and get the fries and shake to go with it because your already eating poorly, make the best out of the situation and just stick with the burger. You didn’t make the best decision but you made a better one. This advice is a daily eating tip, not something I am stating you need to do every single time you eat. Sometimes you gotta enjoy life and get that combo meal. Just try and make that combo meal the exception, not the rule.
This is my personal diet philosophy. Make the better decision more often than not when you eat, understand the basics of protein, carbs, and fat and try to ensure your getting a rough balance of each, stick to more natural foods, and save unnecessary food such as deserts and processed food for occasions, not cutting yourself off from them but eating them as least often as you can manage. Also try and make your own lunches and meals when you have the time. The longer you make these decisions, the easier they get. I eat pretty healthy right now but you’ll definitely catch me eating burgers and pizza every now and then. I’m fortunate because I’m young and have an excellent metabolism, but these choices I make regarding food have gotten easier over time and been helpful for me, so I believe they can help you too.
Thanks for bearing with me this far if you’re still reading, I’m aware this is quite a long post. I’m going to finish up with a tangent giving an example of a change I made over time that’s had a positive impact on my life thus far. I’d been smoking for about 2 1/2 years (not cigarettes), and enjoying it very much. I’m still not against the concept of it. I was able to fall asleep whenever I wanted to, I had fun hanging out with friends, and could cure boredom most of the time. I’m not going to go into my reason for stopping, or some of the negative results that habit had, in this post. The relevance to this article is that it was a change I decided to make, and one I had been considering for a while but hadn’t fully committed to. A quick side-note, I didn’t used to believe in making commitments and promises because of the possibility of breaking it. My current opinion is that promises are good things to make, and sometimes necessary, you should just be careful what you commit to and work hard to follow through. Anyways, I used to smoke every day for the majority of at least 1 1/2 of those years, and I was quite a fan. I’m a person of habit, and addictions come easy to me if I’m not proactive about them. At the end of last summer after an experience I had, I decided to slow down on it, and changed from every day to every few days, then only a few times a week. It wasn’t too drastic of a change. It never completely stopped because I wasn’t 100% committed, and I didn’t have some of the things I referenced earlier that are helpful in change (support of others, etc.) There were times I smoked multiple days in a row and times it was only a weekend thing, but for the point I’m making what’s important is that I previously made a non-drastic change from smoking daily to only multiple times a week. More recently, about a month and a half ago, a few things happened which forced me to decide that I wanted to actually commit to just completely stop smoking. I want to mention I have no problem with people who smoke and would never judge anyone, I don’t think I’m better than anyone who smokes I just think it’s the best decision for me at this point in my life. Anyways, my point is it’s a process that began last summer, and finalized just recently. Because the change occurred over time, it was much easier on me and I am now able to follow through with it and the temptation is gone. Sure I still don’t sleep all that great, and I miss hanging out with my best friends and just kicking it, but I know what my reasons are for doing what I’m doing, and they’re worthwhile so I’m staying true to my commitment. Big changes can be made in your life. In anyone’s life. But like nearly anything in this world worth having, it takes patience, and it takes self-control, and it takes more than just you. My strength in some of the commitments I have stem from my belief in God, and I do think He is one of the necessary/critical elements in making big changes in life, but I’m not at all trying to make my perspective exclusive to only those who share my beliefs. Whatever you believe in, let it drive you toward success, and remember those beliefs, as well as the people you care about, when you need motivation and realize you can’t do it all on your own.
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